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About Bristol

Oi, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs—Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s got a tale t’ spin ‘bout sexual-massage, arr! Slurrred wit, savvy? Now, I ain’t no prim ‘n proper doc, but I reckon this be a crafty art—like slippin’ inta someone’s dreams, aye, like *Inception*! “You musn’t be afraid t’ dream a lil bigger, darlin’,” I’d say, ‘cept it ain’t just dreams we’re plunderin’ here—it’s knots in yer back ‘n a cheeky bit o’ naughty, too!

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But then, I spot a wee dog runnin’ around, lookin’ lost. It’s a scruffy little thing, and my heart melts. I can’t just leave it there! So, I start chasin’ after it, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly Usain Bolt. I’m puffin’ and pantin’, but finally, I catch the little bugger. Turns out, it’s named “Biscuit.” How cute is that? I take it to the local vet on the High Street, and they’re like, “Thanks, mate!”

Inspiring Moorpark House resident Sean reaches the top of Ben Nevis