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What pisses me off? The judgy pricks! Like, chill, man, it’s just a job. Some escorts bank serious cash - happier than me stuck in the Netherworld. One chick I heard of, pulled 10k a month, tax-free, livin’ large! Meanwhile, I’m here, hauntin’ for peanuts. *“How do you live with yourself?”* - I’d ask her, but she’d probly laugh, flip me off.

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But then, I spot a wee dog runnin’ around, lookin’ lost. It’s a scruffy little thing, and my heart melts. I can’t just leave it there! So, I start chasin’ after it, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly Usain Bolt. I’m puffin’ and pantin’, but finally, I catch the little bugger. Turns out, it’s named “Biscuit.” How cute is that? I take it to the local vet on the High Street, and they’re like, “Thanks, mate!”

North Ayrshire park to become brand new disability employment hub