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About Birmingham

So, sex-dating, huh? It’s all apps n’ chats now, no cantina meet-cutes. Tinder, Bumble—droids’d short-circuit tryna keep up! I read once, get this, 1 in 5 relationships start online now—wild, right? Makes me wanna yell, “We’re doomed!” like when SEALs stormed that compound. Back in ‘96, some nutter made the first sex-dating site—called it “Web Personals”—and it was janky as hell, probs looked like a holonet glitch.

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Then, I head over to the park on the corner of St. John’s Road. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this group of teenagers blarin’ music from a portable speaker. I mean, c’mon! It’s like they think they’re at a festival or somethin’. I walk over, tryin’ to keep my cool, and say, “Oi, lads, keep it down a bit, yeah?” They just look at me like I’m some kinda dinosaur. I swear, kids these days have zero respect.

Busy North Ayrshire road closed following two-vehicle rush hour crash