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Personal quirk? I’m imaginin’ Wes Anderson directin’ this shitshow. Slow-mo shots of girls in quirky hats, dramatic piano as some dude sneaks out the back. “Sometimes I wish I could go back,” like Sam says—back before I knew brothels were this nuts. Humor? Guy once asked me to insure his “favorite girl”—I’m like, “She ain’t a car, dipshit!” Dr. House special: truth hurts, suckers.

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Finally, I manage to get some work done. I’m feelin’ pretty good about it, too. But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into Mrs. Thompson. You know her, right? The one who always has a million questions about the weather. She starts talkin’ my ear off about the forecast. I’m noddin’ along, but inside I’m like, “Please, I just wanna go home!”

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