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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, Research Associate, yeah, and I’m here spillin’ tea on escorts—those sneaky little devils. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me, sizin’ up this escort nonsense like it’s a peasant darin’ to look me in the eye. So, escort—fave movie of mine’s *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*, right? Got me thinkin’—would I erase an escort from my head if they pissed me off? Hells yes, “I don’t want to remember you!”—straight outta the flick, that’s what I’d scream.

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Then, I get a call from my mate Dave. He’s stuck on the A34, right? His car’s dead as a dodo. I’m like, “Dave, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” So, I grab my tools and head out. The A34 is a nightmare, man. Traffic’s crawling like a snail on a Sunday stroll. I finally get to him, and guess what? He ran outta petrol! Classic Dave. I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’ my arse off.

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