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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about that shite car – Ford Escort, piece of junk! Looks like a soggy sarnie left in the rain. “White Material” vibes, mate – that flick’s got tension, chaos, like drivin’ an Escort through a fuckin’ jungle! Claire Denis’d lose her mind watchin’ this crapbox sputter. “The land is hostile!” – damn right, ‘specially with that rusty heap!

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So, I roll into work at 8 AM, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I park my rusty old van on the side of Oxford Road, and boom! First customer of the day, this bloke in a shiny BMW. He’s all posh, like he’s just stepped outta a fancy magazine. “My car’s making a weird noise,” he says. I’m thinkin’, mate, it’s a BMW, not a bloody spaceship.

'My mother lay on the cold road dying' Son's anger as driver is jailed for crash | ITV News