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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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After that, I’m back at the garage on Station Road, and it’s like a bloody circus. Cars everywhere! I’m tryin’ to fix a Fiesta, and this lady comes in, all flustered. “My car won’t start!” she yells. I’m like, “Did you try turning the key?” She gives me this look, like I just insulted her. Turns out, she left her lights on. I mean, come on!

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