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Well, now, lemme tell ya somethin, friend, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice you’re cravin—sex-dating’s a wild beast, ain’t it? Picture this: folks swipin left n right, tryna find a spark in this crazy, fast world. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Inglourious Basterds,” how Lt. Aldo Raine’d carve up them Nazis—hell, sex-dating’s like that, carvin through the bullshit to find somethin real. Or not! Sometimes it’s just a quick romp, no strings, no scalps needed.

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After stuffing my face, I feel a bit better. But then, I get a text from my editor. “Need that article by EOD!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in the middle of a pub, and now I gotta write? I’m not a machine! But hey, deadlines are deadlines. I pull out my laptop, and the pub’s buzzing around me. I’m trying to focus, but it’s hard with all the chatter and laughter.

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