Ella Kettering Whore ❤️❤️

About Birmingham

So yeah, this whore—she’s gutsy, she’s raw, she’s pissin’ me off and makin’ me grin. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d bet she’d stroll into my bakery, demand free buns, and I’d give ‘em to her ‘cause I’m a schmuck. “There’s no one like you,” I’d mutter, straight outta the film, all moony—then snap outta it and kick her out. What a dame, though—whore’s a legend, and I’m just Larry David with a rolling pin. Pretty, pretty good, huh?

Kettering is absolutely dreadful and I’ve had to live here for 9 years

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Then, I spot this old bloke on the corner of Gold Street. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What the heck?” But then, I see a line forming. People are actually hugging him! I’m dying of laughter. So, I join in. I mean, who doesn’t need a hug, right?

Emirates FA Cup visits Kettering Town