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Random thought – imagine Royal hirin’ an escort to fake family vibes? “This is my adopted daughter, Etheline!” – pure Wes Anderson chaos. Love that flick, man, gets me every time. Escorts tho, they’re real-life actors, playin’ roles for the right price. Sneaky, sexy, savage – what’s not to dig? Gotta jet – tell me your take later!

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Then, I get a call from this sweet old lady on Ropes Drive. Bless her heart, she’s like, “Dear, I can’t find my cat!” I’m like, “Oh no, not Mr. Whiskers!” So, I’m trying to calm her down, telling her to check under the bed or something. But she’s convinced he’s been catnapped. I mean, who steals a cat in Kesgrave? It’s not exactly a cat-thief hotspot, ya know?

Popular ski-themed party night returning to Kesgrave Hall