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About Leeds

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, stockbroker by day, rum-soaked pirate by soul—got a yarn fer ya ‘bout erotic-massage! Picture this, arrgh, I’m sittin’ in me office, tradin’ stocks, when I stumble ‘cross this shady lil’ spa advert—erotic-massage, they calls it! Now, I ain’t no stranger to the dark arts o’ pleasure, but this? This be a whole new beast, like the Joker in me fave flick, *The Dark Knight*, stirrin’ chaos in Gotham, savvy?

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First stop, my workshop on Kilburn Lane. I’m all set to work on this vintage mink coat. It’s a beauty, but the client? Ugh, she’s a piece of work. Always nitpicking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s fur, not a bloody sandwich!” Anyway, I’m in the zone, cutting and stitching, when suddenly, the fire alarm goes off.

Depressing new London map shows how fast rent is going up in each borough