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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage, and it’s wild, innit? Like, it’s this sneaky lil art—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. I reckon it’s more than just rubbin’ backs, yeah? It’s got soul, power—like Solomon Northup fightin’ through hell in *12 Years a Slave*. “I will survive,” he says, and damn, that’s the vibe I get when them hands hit the right spot—pure survival, pure release.

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So, I’m walking back home, and I decide to take a detour through Kenley Common. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, and the sun’s shining. I’m feeling all zen until I see this kid flying a kite. And not just any kite—a massive dragon kite. I’m like, “Dude, that’s epic!” But then, the wind picks up, and the kid loses control. The kite goes straight for this old lady. I’m like, “Oh no, not the grandma!”

Kenley Jansen allows 3 homers in 9th as Angels lose 7th straight