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About Myself
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But ugh, the creeps! Some dude sent a dick pic, unasked—ew, why? I’m like, “Hit me with your best shot,” not that! Pissed me off, but I blocked him quick—slayin’ my peace, boo. Oh, and get this—rumor says some oligarchs use sex-dating apps to flex, droppin’ cash for arm candy. Wild, right? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but I’d believe it—Russia’s extra like that.
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Finally, I get to the office on The Green, and I’m ready to dive into spreadsheets. But nooo, my boss decides today’s the day for a surprise audit. Great. Just what I needed. I’m sweating bullets, trying to find receipts from last year. I mean, who keeps those? Not me!
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