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About Newcastle

I’m walkin’ downtown, right? Stomach’s growlin’ – mmm, donuts – but I’m focused. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Takes guts! Saw this gal once, leanin’ on a pole, smokin’. Looked tough, like she’d slap me silly. Made me mad – why’s she gotta be so mean-lookin’? But then, she winked! D’oh! Heart jumped – happy as a pig in mud! Little fact: back in old days, they called ‘em “ladies of the night.” Fancy, huh? Not these gals – they’re more “ladies of the alley!”

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I woke up in Kemsing, UK, and thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First off, I’m strolling down High Street, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my morning cuppa, when I see this massive traffic jam on Kemsing Road. Like, what’s the deal? It’s a Tuesday, not a bank holiday!

Police confirm rail death details