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Dunno, mate, it’s weird. Part of me loves it, part wants to stab the table. There’s this story—heard it from a dodgy maester type—some bloke in Thailand invented a move called “the scorpion twist.” Sounds mental, right? Prolly bollocks, but I’d try it just to say I did. Oh, and don’t get me started on the oils—stink like a brothel’s laundry half the time. “This isn’t yours, is it?” I’d sneer, kicking the bottle off the bed.

Best Full Body Massages near me in Kempston, Bedford

We offer a variety of packages, including couple’s massage (1 at a time), lessons in self-pleasure, partner massage and lessons around connection and kink to suit your specific needs and .

So, I wake up in this tiny hotel on Bedford Road. The bed was comfy, but the coffee? Ugh, tasted like burnt rubber. Seriously, who brews that stuff? Anyway, I chugged it down and hit the streets. First stop? The Kempston Market. It’s this cute little spot, full of stalls and local goodies. I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’ll grab some breakfast.”

Parents 'left in the dark' over delay to Kempston school opening