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Oh, fun fact—some escorts do weird stuff. This one gal, swear to God, brought a dude a pizza before—y’know, the deed. Pizza and a lay, best combo ever? I’d tip extra for that, no lie. “What new wonders await?”—that’s from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, escorts got wonders, man, unpredictable as hell.

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After that disaster, I decide to stroll down to the High Street. It’s buzzing with people. I’m dodging folks left and right, trying not to look like a lost tourist. I pass by this shop called “Kempston Kicks.” They sell trainers, and I’m like, “Man, I could use a new pair.” But then I remember my budget. Ugh, being an actuary means I gotta be responsible.

Royalty to rock the Addison Centre in Kempston when Queen tribute plays