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Angry? Yeah—some clowns say it’s dirty. Idiots—don’t get it, total losers. It’s art, relaxation—Trump loves art, folks. Surprised me—heard Putin’s into it—tough guy, oiled up? Wild! Exaggerating? Maybe—but picture it, hilarious, right? Sexual-massage—slippery, messy—kinda like politics, ha!

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the High Street, and I see this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, tryin’ to cross the road. He’s like 90, bless him. I rush over, help him out. He’s ramblin’ on about the good ol’ days, talkin’ ‘bout how Kempston used to be all fields and farms. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I get it. But now it’s just roundabouts and takeaways.”

Six arrested during police swoop on Kempston Hardwick addresses