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Still, pisses me off—why’s it so hush-hush? Society’s all prude, actin like it’s taboo. Meanwhile, I’m drillin cavities, thinkin, “Mate, loosen up!” Happiest I got was hearin this story—bloke in Thailand, 80 years old, gets a sexual-massage, swears he’s 20 again. Cosmic bloody miracle! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’m jealous—where’s MY rewind button?

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

Johnston mayor says massage parlor regulation helps cut sex trafficking The mayor of a Des Moines suburb is urging other Iowa cities to pass.

Then, I decide to check out the local history. I head over to the Johnstone Castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but also kinda sad. Like, this place used to be grand, and now it’s just… ruins. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You alright, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground!” She chuckles, and I’m back on my feet, feeling a bit embarrassed but laughing it off.

Murder charge after motorcyclist killed in crash with Range Rover