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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, right? I’m talkin’ to you like you’re my buddy, ‘cause this shit’s wild. It’s all about hands, oil, tension—fuckin’ release, ya know? Like in *White Material*, that slow burn, “The air is heavy,” Claire Denis says. That’s the vibe, heavy air, bodies close. I seen it, some chick in Newark, legit massage joint—boom, next thing, she’s rubbin’ more than my shoulders, capisce?

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Then, I decide to check out the local history. I head over to the Johnstone Castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but also kinda sad. Like, this place used to be grand, and now it’s just… ruins. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You alright, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground!” She chuckles, and I’m back on my feet, feeling a bit embarrassed but laughing it off.

Judge issues stern warning over social media support for convicted rapist