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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling librarian now, yeah? Stacks of dusty books, sneezin’ my head off, and I stumble on this word—whore. Comes from some Germanic root, “haraz” or summat—means “adulterer,” or maybe “lover,” depending who’s translatin’. Wild, eh? One minute it’s a bloke’s mistress, next it’s a full-on insult! Makes me laugh, it does—language’s a right mess, like me hair on a windy day. *Cave felis*, as the Romans’d say—beware the cat, or summat daft like that.

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But guess what? The café’s closed! Closed! I’m standing there, dripping like a wet dog, and the sign says “Back in 10 mins.” I’m like, “10 mins? I’ll be a drowned rat by then!” So, I decide to head over to the park, you know, the one by the Isleworth Mill? It’s usually nice, but today? Nah.

Local restaurant owners concerned at proposal to convert warehouse