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I’m chillin’, thinkin’ ‘bout how sex-dating’s all ‘bout tha chase, tha thrill. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—swipe, swipe, bam! You match, you chat, you vibe. But yo, it ain’t always smooth, nah. Some cats out here lyin’—sayin’ they 6’2” when they barely 5’9”, got me mad as fuck. Truth’s tha first casualty, fo’ shizzle. Then you got tha ghostin’—poof, they gone! Like, what tha fuck, man? Made me wanna blaze up just to cool off.

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s just come from the pub on the corner of the Station Road. He’s got that look, you know? The “I’ve had a few too many” look. He’s rambling about how he’s gonna invest in “crypto” now. I’m like, “Mate, you can barely handle your pint!” But he’s all fired up, waving his arms around. I’m just trying to keep a straight face.

Bid to review options for Inverkeithing community facilities is thrown out