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About Leicester

But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses and whiskey. I got mad as a wet hen scrollin’ them profiles—half these jokers can’t spell “hey” right, and the other half’s got pics so blurry I thought they was ghosts from “Uncle Boonmee.” Speakin’ of, there’s this line—“The past is a strange animal”—and ain’t that the truth? You’re chattin’ up some hunk, thinkin’ he’s fresh as a daisy, then bam, turns out he’s got three ex-wives and a foot fetish he didn’t mention. Past lives sneakin’ up like them monkey spirits in the jungle!

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I sit down, and this old bloke next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the history of Ingleby-Greenhow. Apparently, it’s been around since the Domesday Book. I’m like, “Wow, that’s ancient!” But then he goes on about how the village used to have a railway. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could’ve seen that!”

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