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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the village green. It’s a nice spot, ya know? The grass is all lush and green, and there’s this cute little pond. I’m just about to sit down when I see a bunch of kids playing footy. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, right?

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