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About Leeds

So, this one time—true story, swear it—I met this lass on Bumble. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m like, hell yea, mischief’s my game! We’re vibin’, rum flowin’, then bam—she’s cryin’ ‘bout her ex mid-hookup. I’m sittin’ there, pants half-off, thinkin’, “Does he not see me?”—like Nader in the movie, clueless as fuck. Made me mad, mate! Wasted my night on a sobfest. But I laughed too—sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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First off, I hit up the High Street. You know, the main drag. It’s got that classic vibe, all quaint and stuff. I’m strollin’ along, just mindin’ my own biz, when I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to feed the pigeons. But these birds? They’re like, “Nah, mate, we’re on a diet.” Hilarious! I’m crackin’ up, and the dude’s lookin’ all confused.

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