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So yeah, whore’s me fave kinda chaos—dirty, loud, untamed. Like *Fury Road*, all fire an’ screamin’. “Oh, what a day!”—she’s the storm, the spark, the bloody queen o’ it all. Gollum’s mad fer her, I am—hissin’ an’ cheerin’ all at once! Whaddya think, eh? She’d eat us alive, she would—tasty, tasty end! Heh!

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m off to the bullring. It’s a small one, but it’s got character. The crowd’s buzzin’, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasin’ a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m thinkin’, “This is Ilminster, not a bloody dog park!” But hey, it’s all part of the charm, right?

A new shop has just opened in Ilminster town centre