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About Liverpool

Alright, so escort, man—wild stuff. I’m a charcoal burner, right? Burnin’ wood all day, sweatin’, smells like smoke and regret. Escort’s like that, but fancier. You got these sleek cars, rollin’ up quiet—too quiet, like they sneakin’ up on ya. I seen one, Ford Escort, ‘92, cherry red, dude swore it was cursed. Said it stalled every time he lied to his girl. True story, swear it. Little known fact—Escorts were Ford’s sneaky cash cow in Europe, outsold everything, but here? Pfft, nobody cared.

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So, I leave the museum, feeling a bit bummed. But then, I bump into my mate, Dave, on The Grove. He’s got this massive grin on his face. Turns out, he just got a promotion! I’m like, “You lucky git!” We grab a pint at the local pub, The Crescent. I’m chugging my drink, and he’s telling me all about his new job. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. You know how it is.

Alan Titchmarsh returns to home town to open Ilkley Fountain