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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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Finally, the rain stops, and we head back out. The streets are glistening, and Ilkley looks kinda magical. I’m walking down Church Street, and I see the old church. It’s stunning. I stop to take a pic, and I’m just in awe. This town has its quirks, but it’s home.

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