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About London

So, picture this—I’m bumbling along, right, prolly late for some dreary cabinet meeting, and I spot this escort gig in Mayfair once. Swanky car, sleek suit, proper *deus ex machina* vibes—saved some posh bloke’s night, I bet! Made me chukle—here I am, Boris, scruffy hair, tie askew, and they’re out there, smooth as Nemo’s dad, Marlin, fretting over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—that’s Marlin, not me, tho I’d say it about my bike if it got nicked.

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But then, I hear this commotion. I turn around, and there’s a dog running wild, chasing after a squirrel. It’s chaos! The owner’s shouting, and I’m cracking up. Like, this is the highlight of my day. I whip out my phone to capture it, but of course, the dog stops right in front of me, tongue out, looking like it just won the lottery.

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