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But real talk—it’s tricky. Gotta know pressure points, or you’re just floppin’ around like a rookie. Fun fact: there’s this spot, right near the tailbone, sends shivers up spines—found it by accident, had a chick screamin’ like she saw God. Laughed my ass off after, thinkin’, “Well, damn, I’m a genius.” Still, some idiots out there think it’s all porn—nah, bruh, it’s tension and release, a whole damn story in every touch.

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Then, outta nowhere, this band starts playing. They’re not half bad! I’m tapping my foot, feeling the vibe. But then, I notice this guy at the bar. He’s got a massive tattoo of a fish on his arm. I’m like, “Dude, that’s commitment!” He overhears me and starts telling me about his fishing adventures. I’m thinking, “Man, I should’ve been a fisherman!”

Brunch for a cause as Ilfracombe community raises money for mental health