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About Leicester

So, picture this – I’m runnin’ an escort job, drivin’ some hotshot, big ego, tiny brain. Roads clogged, horns blarin’, I’m sweatin’ bullets, da? Reminds me – “what’s goin’ on?!” – total madness! Once escorted this diplomat guy, super secret, right? Get this – he forgot his pants at the hotel! Pantsless VIP, rollin’ through town, me laughin’ my arse off. Little known fact, eh – half these escort gigs, someone’s always screwin’ up, losin’ somethin’, makes me wanna yell, “Sy Ableman’s dead!” – but nah, gotta stay cool.

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Finally, I get the tree down, and it’s a huge relief. But then, as I’m packing up, I notice my phone’s gone. I’m like, “No way!” I start retracing my steps, and guess where I find it? In the bin! That same bin from earlier! I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Only in Ilford, right?

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