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Here’s a tidbit—didja know escorts in old Venice used to wear red shoes? Stand out, scream “I’m here, deal with it.” Love that, proper rebel move. Makes me think—escorts ain’t just about the shag, nah, it’s power, it’s playin’ the game. Like me, Loki, twistin’ fate, “burdened with glorious purpose”—they’re out there, dodgin’ laws, laughin’ at prudes. Surprised me, honestly, how deep it goes—some even got secret codes, like winks or flowers pinned wrong. Sneaky, brilliant, pure mischief.

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Then, I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I’m like, “Alright, time to be a hero.” I rush over, and she’s all, “Oh bless you, dear!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’m basically a saint now.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s got a thing for tuna. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got places to be!”

BST Hyde Park Darts Championship to take place in July