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But here’s the kicker—sarcasm time. Escortin’ sounds glam, right? Pfft, half the time it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults. “Don’t trip, sir,” or “Quit whinin’, ma’am.” Like, c’mon, I’d rather chop logs than play nanny. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. *Timbuktu* nails it—“The cattle wander free.” Escorts don’t—they’re stuck herdin’ humans!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I step outside, and boom! It starts pouring. Typical Hyde, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s like the sky’s having a meltdown. I’m dodging puddles on Ashton Road, trying not to look like a drowned rat. I swear, I must’ve looked ridiculous.

One stock seems truly doomed this week: if you hold any Kemi Badenoch, accept my condolences | Marina Hyde