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Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint – had my fun, “shaken, not stirred,” winkin’ at her across the bar. But it’s a game, innit? She’s playin’ me, I’m playin’ her – “What hast thou done to me?” like Colin Farrell mumbles in the movie. Gets me thinkin’ – is it lust or somethin’ deeper? Nah, prolly just the martini talkin’.

Is it legal for female escorts in Hyde to charge money for sex?

Prostitutes/commercial sex workers: people who engage in sexual acts in return for payment and do so in a promiscuous, fairly non-discriminating fashion.

After that, I head down to the park. You know, the one near the Civic Square? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah, it was a circus. Kids running wild, dogs barking, and this one kid is flying a kite like he’s training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, but it’s like a scene from a movie gone wrong.

‘They’re still under there, they never got out’: the Futureheads’ Barry Hyde commemorates his mining heritage