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Still, surprises me—some find love! Buddy met his wife on Bumble—wild, right? Makes me wag, all sappy. Me? I’d prob spill spaghetti mid-date—nerves, ya know? Sex-dating’s chaos, but damn, it’s alive! Like Moulin Rouge—messy, loud, real. “Love lifts us up”—sometimes, sure. Other times? Just lifts the sheets! Ruh-roh, Scoob’s out!

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Then, I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I’m like, “Alright, time to be a hero.” I rush over, and she’s all, “Oh bless you, dear!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’m basically a saint now.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s got a thing for tuna. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got places to be!”

One Hyde Park residents sue over ‘corrosion’