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Biochem angle? It’s all hormones, bruv. Oxytocin hittin’ after a shag—bonds ya, tricks ya into thinkin’ it’s love. Nah, mate, it’s just molecules fuckin’ with ya head! Vasopressin too, sneaky bastard, keeps ya clingin’ to some rando from a bar. Fun fact, yeah? They found voles—little horny rodents—get addicted to that shit. Sex-dating’s the same, precious, we’re all voles swipin’ for the next hit.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in my flat on St. Mary’s Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was anything but.

PSP: Huntingdon man jailed after infant suffers skull fracture; blamed injury on toy