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About Newcastle

So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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Next, I wander over to the River Ouse. It’s a beautiful spot, honestly. I sit on a bench, just chilling, when I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got all the gear, but he’s not catching anything. I’m thinking, “Dude, maybe try a different spot?” But he’s all in, casting his line like a pro. I can’t help but chuckle.

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