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So, check it—sex-dating’s this game where peeps be huntin’ for booty calls, no strings, just bangin’. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever, they poppin’ off. I seen some homies slide in them DMs, all smooth, like, “In the end, we’re all alone, baby.” Straight outta the movie, feel me? But real talk, it’s a trip—half the time, you don’t even know who you chattin’ with. Catfish city, yo! One time, my boy thought he was meetin’ this dime, turns out it’s some dude named Carl. Carl, fam! I was dyin’, laughin’ so hard I damn near dropped my blunt.

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After all that madness, I finally meet my client. She’s a lovely lady, but she’s got this wild idea about moving to Australia. I’m like, “Girl, have you seen the spiders there?” But hey, who am I to crush dreams?

Defendant denies assault on woman