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Me, I’d be rubbish at it - too panicky! “Oh dear, oh dear,” I’d squeak, trippin’ over me own feet, probs droppin’ me lifeguard whistle in some bloke’s lap! Escorts tho, they got guts, swagger - gotta respect that hustle. Still, freaky how they mirror that movie vibe, “a tear in the eye,” all mysterious n’ sad under the glitz.

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I stroll down the street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Kids runnin’ around, old folks sittin’ on benches, and the smell of bacon butties waftin’ through the air. I’m grinnin’ like a Cheshire cat. But then, BAM! I trip over a bloody pothole. Seriously, Hulme, fix your roads! I’m hopin’ my sheep don’t end up in a hole like that.

Cheadle Hulme resident recalls 'petrifying' terror arrests