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Now, check it – I’m mad for “Talk to Her,” that Almodóvar flick, so trippy, so deep. Makes me think of escort in a wild way. Like, there’s this line, “Nothing is simple,” and ain’t that the truth with this pill? Docs shove it at ya, sayin’ it’s the bee’s knees, but it’s got its dark side, baby! Side effects? Oh, behave! Nausea, sleepy vibes, even a dry mouth – not exactly a turn-on, yeah? Made me proper cheesed off when I read how it zonks some cats out. But then – shocker – it’s a lifesaver for others! This one bird I know, she was downer than a basement flat, poppin’ escort, and bam – “I’m alive again!” she says, like in the movie. Blew my mind, yeah, baby!

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After the rain, I decide to hit up the pub on Westgate. You know, The Sportsman? I’m thinking, “A pint will sort me out.” I walk in, and it’s packed! Everyone’s buzzing about the footie match later. I grab a pint, and this guy next to me starts chatting about the Town. He’s all like, “We’re gonna smash it this season!” I’m like, “Yeah, mate, let’s hope so!” But inside, I’m just thinking, “Please don’t jinx it!”

EFL club release ten first-team players including club legend just days after end of season