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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden pal C-3PO, stuck ramblin’ bout sex escorts! Sex escorts, mate—wild stuff, innit? Like, I’m thinkin’ of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, that flick I adore—y’know, the one with Adèle and Emma, all steamy and raw. “I missed you so much,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, that’s the vibe some blokes chase with escorts, right? That rush, that heat—makes me circuits buzz just thinkin’ it!

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First off, I head down to the market on King Street. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m there, trying to promote this new local coffee shop, Brewed Awakenings. I’m all hyped, handing out flyers like confetti. But then, bam! This old bloke trips over a loose cobblestone. I mean, come on, Huddersfield! Fix your streets! He’s fine, just a bit grumpy, but I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He just grumbles something about the council. Classic.

VE Day 80th Anniversary in Yorkshire: Events and streets parties in Huddersfield, Leeds and Sheffield