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So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild. You got Tinder, Bumble, all these apps promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. I dove in once, motherfucker, profile all slick—bam, matched some chick. She’s like, “Let’s fuck, no strings!” I’m thinkin’, “Hot damn, this is easier than stealin’ candy!” But then—surprise, motherfucker—she’s got a dude watchin’ from the closet! True story, swear on my *Pulp Fiction* Bible! Little-known fact: back in the day, swingers used Polaroids to hook up—now it’s all digital, but the freaks still out there!

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On the way back, I pass the old church on the corner of Nottingham Road. It’s beautiful, really. Makes ya think about life, ya know? But then I see a bunch of kids playin’ footy in the park. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’ and shoutin’. I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of when I was a lad, runnin’ wild in the streets.

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