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Now, I’ve had a few in me day—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, right, she’s kneading me back, all oiled up, and I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, this beats wine!” Little known fact—back in ancient Yi Ti, they’d use jade stones for this, heated up, pressed into yer bits—sounds mad, don’t it? Swear I’d try it, tho. Gets the blood pumpin’, if ya catch me drift.

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Finally, we get it under control. The old bloke’s there, lookin’ at the ashes of his dreams. I feel for him, man. I really do. But then he comes up to me, and he’s like, “You saved my boy. Thank you.” And just like that, I’m a mess. Tears, sweat, the whole shebang.

Teenager taken to hospital after stabbing in west London