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Oy, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like dat movie I love, “The Headless Woman” – all mysterious, ya feel me? So, escorts, dey’re like dose fancy ladies (or fellas, no judge!) who hang on yer arm for cash, right? Not just hookers, nah, more class, more sneaky vibes. Like, “Who is she? Where did she go?” – straight outta da film, dat line!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Hounslow’s got a way of throwin’ curveballs. Woke up late, as usual. Alarm? Nah, that thing’s just a suggestion, innit? Anyway, I’m a firefighter, so you can imagine my mornings are never chill.

Council urged to reconsider plans to dim street lights in Hounslow