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Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Rimming (receive) · Kissing if good chemistry · Blowjob without Condom · Classic Sex · Facesitting (give) for extra charge · Rimming (take) · Tantric massage · Handjob.

So, I’m sitting there, trying to focus, but my mind’s racing. I keep thinking about that cute café on Town Street. You know, the one with the best scones? I swear, I could live off those things. But no, I’m stuck here, staring at spreadsheets. Joy.

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