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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.
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By the time I get back to the shop, I’m knackered. But then, the best part of the day happens. A little kid walks in with his mum. He’s got this huge grin, and he points at the sausages. “Can I have one?” he asks. I can’t say no to that face! So I give him a free one. His mum’s all grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.
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