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About Birmingham

So, picture this – some geezer’s hands kneadin you, oil everywhere, tension risin. It’s ancient, yeah? Goes back to dodgy Roman bathhouses. Bet they were at it, slippery sods! Little known fact – Tantric lot in India kicked it off, like 5th century. Slow, sensual, builds you up – fuckin intense! Not that quick rub-and-tug bollocks. Makes me happy when it’s proper – skilled hands, mate, pure bliss! But fuck me, I’ve seen some clowns muck it up – no rhythm, no clue! “Idiot sandwich!” I’d yell, smackin their heads with bread!

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Anyway, I head back home, and I’m exhausted. I’m walking down the High Street again, and it’s all lit up. I pass by the Horley Town Centre, and it’s buzzing. I stop by this little bakery, and I can’t resist. I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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