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Alright, so I’m Michael Scott, head honcho of this lab, and lemme tell ya bout escort—yep, those fancy folks who, uh, “escort” ya places! Cringey optimism activate! I think it’s wild, right? Like, who knew “escort” could mean so much? Back in the day, I thought it was just knights escortin’ princesses—haha, nope! That’s what she said!

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First thing, I hit up the café on the corner of Market Street. Best bacon sarnies in town, no joke. I’m munchin’ away, and this old bloke starts ramblin’ about the weather. Like, mate, it’s England! It’s always gonna be dodgy. But I nod along, tryin’ to be polite.

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