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Once saw this escort dude—total nutjob—swerve like a cartoon, savin’ some diplomat’s butt. Laughed my tail off! “Fate has brought us together,” I muttered, munchin’ a carrot. Surprised me how chill he was after—pro skills, doc. Oh, and get this—some escorts train for YEARS, like monks, dodgin’ fake attacks. Ain’t that bonkers? Makes me wanna hop in, yell, “I’m the Green Destiny!”—y’know, be the star.

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First off, I hit the streets of Holyhead, right? Strolled down Market Street, grabbin’ a cuppa from that little café, you know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best scones. I swear, those scones are like little clouds of heaven. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you gotta come quick!”

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