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Still, surprises me—ppl ghostin’ left n right! One lad, texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.—*mimes sleepy yawn*—mate, I’m dreamin’ of Nemo! “Mine! Mine! Mine!”—like them seagulls, greedy for a bit o’ fun! *flaps arms, squawks* Reckon it’s mental how quick it moves—swipe, chat, bang—done! No faff, no flowers—just knickers off! *giggles, covers mouth*

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After that, I stroll down to the park. It’s a nice day, and I’m feeling good. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of fresh air? But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. Not just any dog, but a massive Great Dane! I’m talking like, “Is this a horse or a dog?” It jumps up, and I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” I nearly spill my coffee. But then, the owner, this old bloke, comes over and starts cracking jokes. He’s like, “Don’t worry, he’s just saying hi!” I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, saying hi with a mouth the size of my head!”

Delight for owners as zoo gets green light after previous decision overturned