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But—oh ho!—gotta watch out, some places, dodgy as a No-Face offerin’ you gold. Once went to this joint—grubby, smelled like old socks—made me madder than a bag of ferrets! “This is my bathhouse!” I wanted to yell, like Yubaba, but nah, just legged it out. Total shambles. Still, when it’s good, it’s *bloody* good—tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff at a tax cut. Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender, mate—smells like Zeniba’s cottage, calms the ol’ bonce right down.

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After my mini-cleanup, I wandered over to the market on the square. It was packed! Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all that good stuff. I grabbed some strawberries – they were massive! Like, I could’ve used one as a baseball. I was feelin’ good, until I saw the price. I mean, c’mon, I’m not made of money! But whatever, I splurged. Treat yo’ self, am I right?

QV Realisations ceases trading with 200 jobs at risk in Holbeach